another expensive house "guest"

This is part two of the story I started yesterday.

I live a very simple existence. I practice Yankee thrift. I don't need much and I'm patient to wait to get new things. I've been waiting at least 15 years for my new kitchen. I'll be waiting longer. At this rate the new kitchen will be done one day and I'll be dead the next day.

Since I live in a old large house people are always moving in and out. Henry was here about two years. Henry and Rae about a year. Lydia close to two years. Eventually they leave. Sometimes I have to throw them out. The more expensive house guests move in without notice. There was the LePew family who had to be trapped and "relocated". Pepé did not go down without a fight. Neither did the termites. I had them killed twice. The neighborhood stray cats solved the mice issue. And now it's been confirmed, there are bedbugs. 

I thought the exterminator was coming between 8-11 and he came at 12:30. He knocks on the door, I answer and he's wearing a uniform, has ID and tells me he's from Terminix. He asks me to take him to where I saw the infestation. I pointed to the chair. He didn't even need his flashlight. That chair is badly infested.

Then I took him up to Pat's room. Where else? Nowhere. He starts spot checking and if he saw nothing he moved on. Sharon said he'd tear apart the house. He did not. He barely moved anything. He knew where to look and frankly he confirmed it on the front porch. he two chairs my house guests sat in appear to be clean. But I told them to watch anyway.

It will cost $2500 to kill the little mothers. They are coming on August 7 between 8-noon.

They come, spray the whole house and all the furniture.

I have to remove all pets and people. Since all the stray cats are outside, I guess they are cool. We have to leave the house for five hours. That kind of indicates how toxic this shit really is. My house will not be organic anymore. But more importantly, what I'm going to do with Pat for five hours is beyond me. Especially with that crazy time span.

Otherwise there is no prep. I'll make sure all the food is away, in Tupperware, or in the fridge. 

They come back once in a few weeks and do the whole thing again. Occupy Pat for 5 hours again. Goodie. Then I have a warranty for 6 months. If I see any activity they do it again, free.

The chair on the porch is dead. They can spray it -- and will -- but the infestation is so bad they can't guarantee to get it all. Plus the garbage man won't take it unless it is wrapped in plastic and duct-tapped shut. Since I'm calling the junk hauler I am also getting rid of the carpet and moving the one I bought for Adonis into the living room. I also have another chair that's worn out that I'm sending. I guess I should wrap that too.

I asked the bug-man about the car. He said it's possible--but not probable--that the bugs are in the car. They don't even do a car service. If I'm worried he told me to take it to be detailed and they will scrub and vacuum every square inch. I already took it to the car wash and vacuumed it and wiped down everything with alcohol.

I also have started looking for a cleaning service to do a full house deep clean the week of the 9th. My research has determined that NOBODY will do it until six months after the last treatment. That would be February, March, maybe. So I guess I'm going to have to do it myself. That will suck. I can't move furniture like I used to. Merry Maids, for a house my size and two floors, is $325.

Bug-man said if I was going to buy new furniture or carpets to wait six months. There will be no money for new furniture or carpets. I figure the bugs are $2500, cleaning will be $500 and junk removal maybe $250. Plus the additional water and gas for all the laundry. 

You can sense the theme here. I can do nothing until spring.

Sharon said I'd be quarantined. Thank goodness we are not. I think they did that at the high-rise to try and control the infestation.

It will probably be a long time before I sit down in public again.