my life is a carefully choreographed dance.

 

 

I didn't want to start my post with negative things, so I went as positive as I could. Girl Scout cookie season started yesterday.  I sold my first box in 1962 for 35 cents (2024 dollars $3.54). Today they are $5.  But I think the troops get a larger piece of the pie now. And yes, I know that you can buy similar cookies all year round without the huge markup. I don't care.  Cookies that come in a GS cookie box have something extra. Some magic. You'll not convince me otherwise. If you need a "dealer" I can hook you up.

 

More good news. It snow twice this week. Tuesday was the beginning of classes and it was canceled. I shoveled. This time it wasn't heavy. Then again today it snowed. Again, I shoveled. I was a little annoyed that a neighbor was leaning on their car waiting (a half hour) for it to warm up and didn't offer to help. But I got it done. It was light and fluffy. Maybe three inches each time. The streets are pretty decent. I think the streets department is excited to have something to do. And get overtime.

In other news. I'm sick and tired of being sick and tired. That pretty much sums it up. The doctor's office called again and wanted to move my ablation up to Thursday. The first day of that class. Man I want that sucker done but their timing couldn't be worse.

The last two Monday's we did Milly, and last Friday I went to yoga. Now that school has started I'm getting more exercise.  Stairs and hills remain challenges.

I'm trying to balance stress, work, family, volunteering and everything I do. I think I'm doing okay. Next week will be a real test. Sharon has a surgery followup Monday. Pat an eye appointment Tuesday, and me the gyno Wednesday. Damn. That's a lot of running.  Next week is my eye followup.

The final tibit is that kidding season has begun at my friends farm. Triplets yesterday. The herd is expanding.

Now the bitching. Between the snow and classes I cut down on my visits to my sisters house. Her recovery is four months. She needs to move on with her life the best she can. Is that tough love? Probably. But running back and forth is exhausting. It doesn't help that she demands rather than asks. "take out..., " take off ..., or "pick up/move that ...". Do I look like an aid? Every day she calls with some sort of need, but again, never asks. Demands. A little kindness goes a long way. People are dropping by with food all the time yet she still calls and says "you need to order my groceries". My reply is always the same. "Fine. But who is putting them away?" If she needs groceries, a little at a time works. 

Sadly she talks all the time about having another surgery. I'm not helping next time. I quit.

it's finally snowing

 

 

The weather people on television have been talking about a major storm for at least a week.  According to them it's been nearly two years since we had measurable snow. It's been snowing since noon and we might have an inch.

I am the snow shoveler in my house. There was a time that I did five sidewalks. Now it's just mine. But this year I have the whole afib/heart failure issue. Do I shovel or not. My uncle Al had a stroke while shoveling his snow, and that's always in the back of my mind.

Do I do it now. Do I do it later? Maybe it's a moot point since it's supposed to turn to rain. But will that turn the snow into heavy slush or will it wash away? Too many questions. 

My fears are mounting and it sucks.

Wednesday afternoon I did the breathing/stretching class with the guy in Alaska. Thursday I met the volkssport walkers but did not walk (that hill to Lehigh, no way), Friday I went to yoga. So I did exercise three times this week.

And Friday my paperwork came for my operation. Blood work, CT scans, and bunches of rules. I wish I didn't have to wait another five weeks. It gives me extra time to stew.

another tiny step

 

 

Another tiny step on my road to recovery. I signed up for, and did, the whole Milly workout and am here to tell the tale. I couldn't really tell if my heart rate went up because it's always up, what's a little more? Pat actually struggled more than I did. It's been since Labor Day that wither of us has done this. Now I need to go in and sign up for the next few weeks.

I'm also signed up for the Chair Stretch and Strength class in Alaska this afternoon. Once school starts I'll have to stop that one. And finally, I'm signed up for chair yoga on Friday. Although all very good for me they are stalling attempts. I need to get back out there walking. But I'm scared. And fear paralyzes me. So maybe dancing around walking is my jam until February. Then all bets are off. I gotta do it.

Why? I'm signed up for the walking festival at the end of May in Canada. I have to be able to do at least a 5K of each of the walks or why bother going? I'm going with a group from PAWs and they are already planning carpools. Once they have worked out how they are driving I'll need to pick a Park and Ride for them to grab me at. By looking at the maps, if they come up the Turnpike they'll grab me in Q'town.  Or better, if they head west via 78, they'll pick me up at the Rt 33 Park and Ride because that's how they'll head north. Both routes are 6 hours plus change and converge in Scranton.

Tomorrow is the Volkssport walk in south Bethlehem. I'm going to try and do part of it. But not the hills. Maybe just the Greenway for a couple blocks, turn around and come back.

One day at a time. Any tips for conquering fear?