my big, expensive mistake

I am not an optimist. I am a realist. And today is the anniversary of my brothers death from heart disease. What the hell was I thinking going for tests today?

Friday I go to the family doctor. When I was there the last time she wanted a BMP and an electrocardiogram. Or so I thought. I looked online and EKGs ran up to about $200. Doable. The doctor wanted baseline test because of my high blood pressure.

I delay everything as long as possible and today was the big day. I went and got the blood work done this morning. I signed up for their cash payment card. it cost $10 and the test was $20. Without the card it was $55. Pretty much a no-brainer. Now all that was left to do is wait and worry about the results. Did I mention I don't do well on tests?

When I returned home I looked at the slip for the EKG, and called the number. I wanted to schedule an EKG. They told me it was drop in, and where to go at Muhlenberg and where to park.

I left for work an hour early, headed to the hospital, walked up to the second floor. One nice thing about the Lehigh Valley Hospitals is there is art in the hallways. Of course I took took way too much time looking at art. I signed in. They gave me a beeper. The last time I was anywhere like that you had a pick-a-number, like at the deli. There was a lot of people, but they called me quickly. I did the paper work and she sent me and my beeper out to wait again.

Five minutes later the girl that registered me came out and said, this isn't an EKG, it's an ECHOcardogram. An ultrasound. Shit.  I had the choice to stay and take the test in a half hour or schedule an appointment and leave. I decided to stay because there was no way in heck I was ever going back. It would give the doctor one less thing to lecture at me about which is a plus. But as I waited I thought that sounds expensive. I was trying to squash my bolting instinct.

I walked in the room and saw this machine and the dollar signs started dancing in my head. My heart was racing. I was almost crying. I wanted to run out of the room topless. The realization of what was about to happen hit. I bet she took a 100 pictures in 15 minutes. At places I didn't even think were heart related. Maybe I should have paid attention in science class. I was there less than a half hour. I have no idea what was in those pictures but I'm terrified.

Online I've read the test costs anywhere from $250 to almost 5  grand. With my luck it will be the high end, not the low end. I have no idea how I'll pay a large test bill AND fix the hole in the kitchen floor.  Not to mention what happens when they find something.

I'm fat, halfway to 60 and have high blood pressure with a history of bad luck. The fatalist in me knows that they will find something. I have no medical insurance. I can't do disease. Every time my cell phone rings I'm going to panic. I called Bonnie on the way to the car hoping she'd calm me down. Got voice mail. I nearly cried.

Friday terrifies me.

it's a lovely day for a walk

Got out much later than usual because I had a shift shuttling homeless people from a church to downtown. That is a subject for another blog. By the time I got home and ate breakfast it was about 9 before I hit the streets.

Sharon and I did about 2 miles and it was fairly level and I made her go fast....for her. If I can build up her speed on the flats, maybe she'll get better on the hills. We'll see.

I haven't exercised much this week. March 1 is the start of my spring training. I have a 5K on the 19th and a stair climb.  Another 5K April 9, and then the big 5K season starts. I'd also like to do my first 10K Volkksport walk.

Tomorrow is the 53 story/101stair climb in Philly. Bonnie and I are going to do it. My goal last year was 25 flight, and I did them all. This year, the camera will be in my pocket. I want evidence! I will not wear those pink pants. Or if I do, my shirt will be long enough to cover my fat gut. Last year's pix was awful. When I pick up Bonnie I need to weigh myself. I was 230 at her house on Christmas Day. I bet I've gained.  I'll let you know tomorrow. Thinking about buying a scale. Scary.

I have a doctors appointment the March 22 which I just realized is a Tuesday. I'm going to have to change it. I have a class at 1 pm. This is what happens when your schedule is set for 3 months at a time, and you schedule six months ahead of time.

She wants a basic metabolic panel done (BMP). Lab Tests Online defines it as "a frequently ordered panel of tests that gives your doctor important information about the current status of your kidneys, blood sugar, and electrolyte and acid/base balance." Huh?

"The BMP includes: Glucose and Calcium, both increased and decreased levels can be significant. Electrolytes: Sodium, Potassium, CO2 (carbon dioxide, bicarbonate) and Chloride. The concentrations of sodium and potassium are tightly regulated by the body as is the balance between the four molecules. Electrolyte (and acid-base) imbalances can be present with a wide variety of acute and chronic illnesses. Chloride and CO2 tests are rarely ordered by themselves. And Kidney Tests BUN (blood urea nitrogen) and Creatinine. BUN and creatinine are waste products filtered out of the blood by the kidneys. Increased concentrations in the blood may indicate a temporary or chronic decrease in kidney function. When not ordered as part of the BMP, they are still usually ordered together. "

Now, I'm never comfortable with blood work and this all makes me even more uncomfortable. So starting March 1 I have to watch carefully what I eat. Kick those GS cookies to the curb. No sugar, salt, low fat, low carb, low everything. I think that means spinach, bananas, plain baked potatoes and broccoli. Okay, maybe not that strict. I don't want her to yell at me so I need to find a way to trick those numbers!

She has also given me a prescription for an EKG. The thought of it terrifies me. Not to mention it probably costs $500 which terrifies me more. So I looked online and it seems to be about $200. I don't like doctors, I certainly don't like tests, and my heart rate is going to look like one of my doodles. A bunch of colored lines with high skinny peaks.