santa brought me a soda stream!

One reason I have had a problem with drinking too much soda is bubbles. I love a beverage with bubbles.

Soda is bad for me and keeps me fat. Seltzer tastes good but 67 cents a bottle and all that plastic is not good for my budget or the environment. The Soda Stream is a great solution. But I'm cheap. And would never spend the money on it. But I'd buy a new font in a heartbeat.

Therefore, for the last four years, maybe, I've looked at, but not bought, Soda Streams. I even had a sample of the icky soda. A couple of years ago a friend received one for Christmas. Her daughter loves bubbles in beverages too. She makes flavored water beverage with a little fruit juice and water.

After the tree fell down and we put it back up, a large box appeared. A large, heavy box, and it was for me. What in the world did I want in a large, heavy box? The Soda Stream never crossed my mind.

The "my water" packs don't have sugar or any evil chemicals in, so I'll keep those. If anybody has one of these machines and wants all the samples of soda, I will be happy to give them to you.  Or maybe I can freecycle them. Ultimately I might have to buy another storage bottle.

Apparently Sharon and Dawn have been looking for the best price for weeks. She works at Bon Ton and they don't carry them. Ultimately they bought it at Sam's Club. When I went online to the url for this post, I found her a $25 rebate. She's happy now too.

Between the Soda Stream and a new Kindle I felt 8 this morning. A Kindle Fire, none the less. I wasn't going to buy a new one. I've killed two already. (I've been told I cannot put the Kindle in my purse.)

Now I need to go out for a walk.

what I've learned over the past 18 days

The "No Sugar" challenge ends on Friday. What have I learned? Nothing. Everything.

The week before the challenge started, I warned my family and colleagues that I'd be a raving b*tch for the next 21 days. "Please don't take it personally", I told them. But I wasn't. I wasn't even missing sugar laden foods. I did discover that waffles without sugar are gross, but not non-eatable.

And that there's a reason peanut butter and jelly go together. But was I jonesing for a PB&J? No. Not at all. That was not the case two years ago when I was taming the soda-beast.

I cook a lot from scratch, and shop at the pop-up farmers markets, so hidden sugar is not as big of a problem as I thought it would be. But checking the sugar content takes two more seconds after checking the salt content. No biggie. Though I wonder what the safe percentage is. For sodium I try to keep it under 5%, but no higher than 10% on processed food. On the Livestrong website I read 300 grams of added sugar a day. That isn't much, I don't think. If I did the math right that's 1.5% daily in a 2000 calorie diet.

I have learned that I am not addicted to sugar. Hallelujah. Just food in general. Sh*t. I think I had that epiphany before. But I ignore it. I blame other things. There-in lies the problem. Classic addictive personality. Blame everything but the true cause. You.

Why am I surprised? Addictive personalities run in my family. We are a family of drunks—my dad, my brother, two sisters… Food is my drug of choice. I don't eat to sustain. I eat because I'm bored. Or stressed. Or happy. Or sad. or pissed. Clearly I'm an emotional eater. But even worse, I eat until there is nothing left. If you gave me 5 M&M's I'd eat them and be happy. But if you put an entire pound bag in front of me. I'd eat them all. Not at once. But over the course of the day. I don't eat till I'm full. I eat till it's gone.

I believe, intellectually anyway, of the "everything in moderation style of eating".  80% good food / 20% not so good. There is little I won't eat, and even less that I will try, at least once. (Malyasian food Saturday!) Growing up I was 40 pounds underweight. Now I'm 80 or so overweight. I have a basic knowledge of nutrition. I studied vegetarian and even vegan diets and can cook (poorly, mind you) for any food situation that crops up. I learned as a child to can and freeze and eat fresh. My mother made Hamburger Helper once. Boxed food was expensive and we didn't have money. But we did have lots of carbs. They filled you up. And veggies and a salad every night. Okay, it was slathered with dressing, but that's beside the point. Really not much different than the "My Plate" guide lines. But our protein was always meat.

Sorry, I tend to go off track. Never can figure out how to weave in the back story.

Back to the topic at hand. How did this no sugar-challenge effect me. Snacking. I pretty much had to stopped snacking. There was nothing in the vending machine I could eat. I drank huge amounts of water. Right now it has pomegranate seeds in it. Fruit, floating in your water makes it seem more special. I'm also drinking apple cider because it's in season. And even bought orange juice for the first time in forever.

I am eating much more fat. Which is worse, fat or sugar? I had pretty much given up eating bread with butter on it, instead subbing cinnamon sugar or jam. Now I'm back to butter. Whenever I try and overhaul my eating lifestyle, breakfast is always trouble. Reality check here. Cooking breakfast during the week, and leaving for work at 6:30 am is not happening.

The doctor said I gained weight. I was hoping to lose. I am clearly eating less. In an effort to avoid sugar, am I eating worse?

Was I 100% sugar free during the 21-Day challenge. Nope. But I was more than 90%. I ate fruit tart on Thanksgiving. I had ice cream one night out of habit, not hunger. There were other minor slips. But it is what it is. I did it.

The question is now, can I continue to restrict, not eliminate, sugar? Diabetes runs in this family also.

the tempo fitness challenge

Our local PBS affiliate, PBS39, has a local show called Tempo In Depth. Today I went to a tapping of the show. The guest was the walking coach from my challenge. The show will air next week.

Everyone knows people resolve to diet and exercise on January first. And stop on January second. So Tempo has created the fitness challenge. A four-month program that will end with a non-competitive, family 5K. (And a great way to fundraise for PBS!)

The new studios are located on the Steel brownfields, sandwiched between the casino and ArtsQuest. The 5K will never leave the property. It will be three 1 mile loops. That way, if you poop-out after one loop, you can sit down and cheer the others on. It should be fun.

They will be posting tips and tricks and training items to their Facebook page.

Also part of the show was Ladiva Dietician. (I borrowed her photo from her webpage.) The martini glass, the humor, the cat's eye glasses and the Donna Reed hair—this lady is a riot. Maybe I've found a dietician that I actually like. Not one bit pompous. She should be on National Television. The whole country would be skinny in a year. Food Network, are you listening?

i shrunk an inch .. or more!

And that's only the beginning of the bad news.

You guessed it. It was doctor day.

I actually was feeling positive today. My BP readings at home were consistent from 125-135/60-70s. My weight was about the same. I didn't kick the sugar habit but I cut back maybe 50%. It was a good morning, till I arrived.

My appointment by the numbers. They aren't pretty. Shield small children from them. I don't want to scar them for life.

• Height is now 5 foot 8.5 inches. My drivers license says 5 foot 10 inches.
• My weight is 233.8. Fairly consistent with what I get on Bonnie's scale.
• My BP was (gasp) 162/82 with a pulse of 52. Yeah, that's bad.
• The BMI for that height /weight is 30-34. Making me obese, class 1

So we talked about diet and exercise. She saw my log. All the 5ks. We concluded the same thing the nutritionist concluded last year—I eat fairly well, but too much. (And I still graze.) At least she didn't recommend Overeaters Anonymous. She suggested Weight Watchers. Forced portion control and you can eat everything. Wish Megan was here. She's a WW devotee. She would kick my butt.

She also asked if I was still doing Tai Chi to reduce my stress. I confessed no. The class on Saturday is seldom held, the one on Tuesday doesn't work with my schedule.  I need a stress reliever.

Bottom line. If losing weight and more exercise doesn't get my BP under control she'll give me more drugs. Or worse send me to the Nephrologist. No thanks to both. Goal is less drugs, no more.

My next appointment is in March. I'm off to WW online. Although I think the people version will be better.

---------------

In January my internet comes due and I'm going to switch to something else. My current local service is too slow for class. I waste a lot of time waiting for things to download. That gives me plenty of time to hit the fridge. So I set up a gmail account for all my walking and relate health issues since my three day one is long and will disappear with the ISP.  New addy is e2feet at gmail.com.

september challenge

You know me. I like a good challenge. I've been able to give up maybe 80% of my soda habit but that lingering 20% — and my love of sugar in general‚ is keeping me fat.

In the last week or so my sugar addiction imploded. I was super stressed. Online class ended, and started, and I was preparing for classes to start. Plus worrying about my beach trip being canceled because of a hurricane. I was chugging soda like it was water. I was eating candy like it was a food group. I felt like poop.

Something had to change. And it did today. I hope.

For the month of September I'm going to attempt to not drink soda, eat candy, ice cream, pastry and cake and try to kick this habit once and for all. Will I be reading packages like a diabetic? No. Will I be dumping all the forms of sweetener in my house? No. (That's my collection on the left.) I just want to tame the beast.

Day one. 

Went okay. No breakfast soda. We went out to lunch and they put mints on the check tray. I didn't eat them. I haven't hit the machine a school for licorice. Day one is easy. Day 27, is a different story.

Full disclosure. I'm going to the shore next weekend. A trip to the shore involves fudge and salt water taffy. I will have some. Not a whole pound. I will also ride bicycles, walk boardwalks, climb lighthouses and other physical activity.

Now what do I drink instead of soda? Water is the natural choice. But I have to admit that water gets old, at least for me. Even adding lemons doesn't help. I like bubbly water but don't want to pay the price. I admit it when it comes to some things I'm cheap.

One day at Bed, Bath and Beyond I saw a Soda Stream machine. It also makes bubbly water. But it's $125. I should just buy the bubble water. But that's a lot of plastic.

My colleague suggested becoming a tea connoisseur. The whole process of brewing would be relaxing and break the stress. Some are full of antioxidents and other good things. But of course it has caffeine. Don't want to go on that road.

My sister Elin was the tea drinker. She had quite a collection. My niece Bonnie is also a tea girl. Me, not so much.

Now I love ice tea. (I really don't care for hot drinks—and Chai is gross—except hot chocolate. Yeah, I know, sugar, chocolate and whipped cream.) Angel suggest becoming a connoisseur of iced tea. Is their really that much variety out there for iced? Right now I just make solar or fridge tea.

Last Thanksgiving (or was it more than that) Dave and Barb were telling us about a fancy tea store, Teavana, in the Lehigh Valley Mall. And showed us the hot tea brewing device they bought. I'm remembering that their worked kind of like French Press, where you floated the tea in it, and then plunged all the leaves to the bottom. But I could have made that up. My memory is about the size of a gnat.

I bet Bonnie would go with me to look at teas.No pots. Too expensive. Will stick with a pan of water. Not even a kettle.

In a Korig you can make tea, even iced tea, I had it at Musikfest. But all those little plastic cups... It's expensive too.

Like normal, I'm getting ahead of myself. Putting the cart before the horse mama used to say.

One day at a time, fat girl. One day at a time.

reality check

Picked Lydia up at the Philly airport and tried to find an exit off Rt 76 that might have food. I chose City Line Avenue. There was several places, but my sister likes chains. So we went there.

I haven't been there in a while, and now the nutrition facts are on the menu. OMG reality check. I get one of two things there. A wedge salad and onion soup or a burger and fries. Since this was my main meal for the day I decided to go with the burger and fries. Almost 1600 calories and over 2K milligrams of salt. Nearly fell over. So I looked more. Almost everything is sky high in calories, and especially salt. My guess for the calories would have been 700-800 with the fries. That 1600 is w/o the fries. They are extra!

They have a few 'right-size" portion items and they are "under 700" calories. They're kidding, right?

So I thought I do the chicken sandwich. It was only 200 calories less. I went with the burger.

Now to make things even more interesting I looked up the item on the web. Livestrong.com allows you to look these things up. I wanted to verify my memory. It says the burger is 1540 with the bun. 559 without. WHAT? A 1000 calorie bun? What is it made of, solid butter?

After today, I probably won't eat there anymore. Unless it's a day like today, when it's the only game in town.

When I got home the frozen hot chocolate commercial was on. I'm guessing it's more akin to a milkshake. But I keep seeing it and love chocolate. I'm starting to want it. My guess was 500 for a small. I was close. 430. Tempting as it is I won't be having it. Unless of course I can get three friends to share it.

r.i.p. food pyramid

And good riddance.

The original was okay, but the remake a few years ago was a piece of poorly designed crap. If my students turned it in for their infographic they'd get a D...if I was in a good mood.

The new one is a plate. Easy to read. Even a child could do it. Meat has been replaced with protein, but dairy is still there, so it's biased agaist people on a plant-based diet.

Will it work? Will people read it, buy and eat correctly, and solve the problem of obesity in America? I doubt it. Most people won't even look at it. Just like they don't look at the nutrition facts. They only look at the front of the box for screaming headlines. Heck, many companies use a pared-down version of the facts in an effort to get people to read them. And sell more product.

Okay. I'm jaded. Thirty years in graphic design and marketing will do that.

Want more info on the new "plate". Go to www.myplate.gov.  Even if you don't want more info, go anyway. Your tax dollars paid for it.

it's a lovely day for a walk

Got out much later than usual because I had a shift shuttling homeless people from a church to downtown. That is a subject for another blog. By the time I got home and ate breakfast it was about 9 before I hit the streets.

Sharon and I did about 2 miles and it was fairly level and I made her go fast....for her. If I can build up her speed on the flats, maybe she'll get better on the hills. We'll see.

I haven't exercised much this week. March 1 is the start of my spring training. I have a 5K on the 19th and a stair climb.  Another 5K April 9, and then the big 5K season starts. I'd also like to do my first 10K Volkksport walk.

Tomorrow is the 53 story/101stair climb in Philly. Bonnie and I are going to do it. My goal last year was 25 flight, and I did them all. This year, the camera will be in my pocket. I want evidence! I will not wear those pink pants. Or if I do, my shirt will be long enough to cover my fat gut. Last year's pix was awful. When I pick up Bonnie I need to weigh myself. I was 230 at her house on Christmas Day. I bet I've gained.  I'll let you know tomorrow. Thinking about buying a scale. Scary.

I have a doctors appointment the March 22 which I just realized is a Tuesday. I'm going to have to change it. I have a class at 1 pm. This is what happens when your schedule is set for 3 months at a time, and you schedule six months ahead of time.

She wants a basic metabolic panel done (BMP). Lab Tests Online defines it as "a frequently ordered panel of tests that gives your doctor important information about the current status of your kidneys, blood sugar, and electrolyte and acid/base balance." Huh?

"The BMP includes: Glucose and Calcium, both increased and decreased levels can be significant. Electrolytes: Sodium, Potassium, CO2 (carbon dioxide, bicarbonate) and Chloride. The concentrations of sodium and potassium are tightly regulated by the body as is the balance between the four molecules. Electrolyte (and acid-base) imbalances can be present with a wide variety of acute and chronic illnesses. Chloride and CO2 tests are rarely ordered by themselves. And Kidney Tests BUN (blood urea nitrogen) and Creatinine. BUN and creatinine are waste products filtered out of the blood by the kidneys. Increased concentrations in the blood may indicate a temporary or chronic decrease in kidney function. When not ordered as part of the BMP, they are still usually ordered together. "

Now, I'm never comfortable with blood work and this all makes me even more uncomfortable. So starting March 1 I have to watch carefully what I eat. Kick those GS cookies to the curb. No sugar, salt, low fat, low carb, low everything. I think that means spinach, bananas, plain baked potatoes and broccoli. Okay, maybe not that strict. I don't want her to yell at me so I need to find a way to trick those numbers!

She has also given me a prescription for an EKG. The thought of it terrifies me. Not to mention it probably costs $500 which terrifies me more. So I looked online and it seems to be about $200. I don't like doctors, I certainly don't like tests, and my heart rate is going to look like one of my doodles. A bunch of colored lines with high skinny peaks.

i stayed the same

Well, maybe I lost a half pound over the holidays. Not bad if I must say so myself.

I started the day with a scenic walk to the southside post office and home. I finished my day at the nutritionist. Thank goodness that's over.

Remember I mentioned she said I should see a psychologists for my stress and food addiction? Last night she suggested overeaters anonymous, mainly because it's free. I told her I'd consider it but didn't hold out much hope. I had checked them out years ago and decided against it. As with all 12-step programs it has a "higher power" component. When I rechecked into it last night almost all steps involve the "higher power". Anybody who knows me, even a little knows this won't work. I also took their little quiz. You needed to say yes to three of the items. I said yes to one.

Another strike against them was my history with Anonymous meetings. I tried AlAnon a couple of times in my late twenties, and also took Sharon to many AA meetings after rehab. I found them to be pointless. People standing around whining about their problems instead of solving them. I also thought they traded one addition for another. At the AA meetings then drank coffee like it was water and chain smoked. You couldn't breath in the rooms. I guess the smoke -filled rooms elements have changed since smoking is now taboo. To this day Sharon drinks coffee like it's water.

I've had about two-weeks off from work for the holiday. My blood pressure went down about twenty points. Is their a correlation? My one job starts today. Another starts Monday. The third in about ten days. I guess well see if it slowly goes back up.

In the meantime I've signed up for the stair climb in Philly. All 53 floors. I'm going over to Acopian today at lunch time to start training. Hopefully I can still make it to the sixth floor without stopping.

stop eating with your head

Tonight I went to the nutritionist, I weighed 5.5 pound less. Whoopie. I weighed much too much last week, so it was either bloating, or constipation. Both are gone and the weight went with them. Could have been the clothes too.

So now she's upped my weight loss goal for the 5 weeks to 15 pounds. My 950 calorie chicken sandwich last night didn't seem to impact my weight loss, at least this week.

She (and Angel and Bonnie) told me to up my protein so I eat less carbs.

My new goals are 1500 calories
75 grams of protein (60 grams from biological protein)
50 grams of fat
190 grams of carbs
5 days of exercise for at least 45 minutes. T'ai Chi only counts as stress relief.

Plus the old goals, which I didn't reach
Eat only 4xs a day (I'm a grazer)
Reduce coke intake even more

She seemed please that I did two 5Ks this weekend. Belle sent me this site that calculates how many calories you burn doing ordinary things. Including sex.

She told me I needed to learn to eat with my mouth and not with my head. That's hard.  She told me to reduce my stress which triggers eating. That's even harder.

an epiphany

me, high school graduation photo

Last night was my first of five meetings with the nutritionist, Lisa, at the Bethlehem Township Community Center. Her day job is with one of the hospitals.

She thought I was "motivated" to start this at this time of the year. Perhaps "crazy" is a better word. But I don't think I gorge myself at holiday meals.

Some background, for people who haven't been on this journey with me.

The reason I wanted to go see a professional was to sort out all this information I've been reading on healthy eating, and come up with some way to make it work. Ultimate goal, I lower my blood pressure and get off meds. Loosing a couple pounds wouldn't hurt either.

My way hasn't worked. Keeping a food diary recently made me realize I eat way to many carbs and sugar. But if I don't eat carbs, I'm hungry.

That's the first thing I know for sure.

The second thing is if you tell me "no" I will eat twice, maybe three times the amount I eat now. So I need something that doesn't have "no" in it. The old 80% good/20% bad theory.

The third thing is I am an emotional eater. I eat when I happy, sad, stressed, bored, it goes on and on.

So I went in there looking for the magic wand, and I didn't find it. And that disappointed me. I went for healthy eating. She's all about making a diet.  If I wanted to count and measure I would have gone to Weight Watchers.

So she took my background. Looked kind of shocked when I told her I was well underweight before my mid-twenties. I guess most people with my problem struggled their whole lives.

She weighed me. I'm 10 pounds heavier than on the doctors scale. That hurt.

She wants to take away my last Coke of the day. It won't happen. On this I am sure. I told her how much I used to drink and she was floored.

She doesn't count walking as exercise. You only burn 100 calories an hour. Steps either. Or T'ai Chi. She'd like me to go to the gym. I'd rather stand on my head and clean the toilet with a toothbrush than do that. If it doesn't work for me than it work.  I'm "active". I don't "exercise".

So my goals for this week is one 16 ounce Coke per day or less, four "meals" a day, keep a food and exercise journal. Initially she'll fill in the calories. I have to weigh and measure. Yuck. She's going to give me a generous 1500 calories a day. She thinks I eat at least 500-750 more.

My friend Angel has been trying to give me advice. But as always, I'm stubborn and pig headed and don't listen. She told me to email her last night and tell her how it went. I did.  This was part of her reply:

" Well, I know you hate the word diet and it's emotional implications—but remember with your health issues that a diet is more medical than a mere "gee I have to lose weight."

A medical diet—though restrictive and a pain in the ass—will train you what's good/ what's bad/what's appropriate and make these things habit…   I know you want the freedom and knowledge to make good choices. This is the potential boot camp to shock you into it. "

I didn't like that reply. I got my panties into a gather pretty dang quick. When I typed the reply I had a bit of an epiphany:

"You’re right, I do need to lose weight. But that’s not why I decided to do this. I wanted to learn to eat right. Maybe I should have joined weight watchers. Accountability....

Actually I probably already know what to eat. It’s just doing it.

But that is not the problem. Not even close. That light bulb came on late last night. I have a food addiction. I chose food instead of booze or sex or drugs. THAT is the big problem. I should go to a shrink instead of a nutritionist.

Meanwhile, I had my half cup of oatmeal for breakfast and I’m not a bit hungry but I am counting the minutes till lunch. And more than likely I’ll eat lunch and I’ll do the same thing till dinner.  Yep. I bet if you looked food addiction up, that’s exactly what it would say was a symptom.

But unlike booze or drugs or sex or shopping or any number of things stopping the activity is not an option."

OMG. I'm a food addict.

nutritionist day

Excited. Scared. Terrified. Motivated. Wondering. Anxious. Stressed. Excited.

so I was in the dollar store ...

and the phone rang. It was Lydia. I'm coming over to process some pumpkin. "Do you want to walk at Lehigh? Maybe do some stairs?"

I've created a monster. And soon that monster will weigh less than me. But then I still get to eat real meals.

On the way back from the dollar store. My phone rang again. I told Sharon to answer it. I have no headset and I was in Allentown, where it's illegal to talk on the phone and drive. (Click and Clack from Car Talk on NPR were so ahead of their time on this issue. I always wanted one of the "Shut Up and Drive" bumper stickers.) It was Lisa, the nutritionist from the Bethlehem Township Community Center. Sharon seemed confused. From the bits of conversation I heard I knew it was important and found a space to pull over and snatched the phone from her hand.

She asked if I wanted to wait till after the holiday. That would be an emphatic "No". So we're planning on meeting tomorrow, 6:30, after school. The places are about a mile apart. I'll let you know. Better put my food journal in the car.

so far this week

Sharon and I walked Monday morning and I went to T'ai Chi last night. When I arrived, I found out it was the last class in the session. To continue I need to buy another session ($25). If I do I would also l sign up for the nutritionist (5 weeks, $125).

So far my roomies haven't a clue what I'm doing Tuesday night. I make up lame excuses to leave the house. Not sure if they even realize it's every Tuesday since my schedule is so erratic. Can I fool them for another six weeks?

I really like the class. Still can't do any of it, but I like it. It relaxes me, at least for a hour. The six o'clock time frame is a bear with the rush hour traffic. Is it worth it? I relax while there, and two seconds after I walk in the house the stress is back. If I check my phone then any good is wiped out by a screaming message "where the f*ck are you?" Yes, I'm 50 something and they are not my mother. Besdies, she wouldn't use that language.

Gotta decide by the time class is over. The community center is a mile away. It's now or never.

What the heck????

Today I got some really crappy news, again, from the doctor. So when that happens I head for junk food.

When I first found out I had high blood pressure it was a pizza. Today it was McDs. I had their new bacon Angus burger. It was good, and quite filling. Several hours later I'm still full. That, however, will not stop me from eating dinner. I am, if nothing else, an emotional eater.

So I ordered the food. I had a coupon for the Angus burger with a free medium fry and drink. Pat and I shared the fries. Pat took the Coke. I ate the burger, and she had a fillet of fish. Now I read an article recently about mandatory food labeling in states like New York, but I hadn't realize till today it was going mainstream.

Now, when I walked into McD's did I say to myself what healthy low fat choices do they have here? No. I wanted beef. Full fat greasy beef and fries. I was not looking for something healthy. I have NEVER walked into a restaurant of any kind looking for the healthy choice.

The McDs packaging had a full-blown Nutrition Facts on the bottom of the box, and a more graphically interesting version (the condensed version) on the side. That's what caught my eye as a designer.

What the heck? Is nothing sacred?

I read them today just because they were there. The calories disappointed me. I had bacon, cheese and beef and it was 790 calories. I would have thought it would be well over a thousand. About half were from fat. Shocking? Not really....beef, bacon and cheese. I'm surprised it wasn't more. The salt was high. That did surprise me.

Bottom line it was more or less what I expected. I didn't care. They could have those Facts printed as the wallpaper and I still wouldn't care. In Fact, if they were on the menu board I would probably look for the absolutely worse food, and order that. Just because I could.

Now I need to go get a Coke.