too fat to buckle my shoes.

And, apparently, I'm a wedding crasher. Clearly it wasn't a good day.

We had planned on walking at the Parkway yesterday, but as we were getting ready to leave, the sky opened up and the rain poured down. If we would have went we might have seen the retaining wall collapse. This is what happens when things built in the 30s by the WPA are not maintained. It going to happen a lot. Here's the story from this mornings paper.

So instead of walking I worked. I did my online class and some odds and ends of other things until it was time to make myself beautiful....scratch that...presentable for the wedding. I even borrowed a nice dress from Bonnie. (AND I DIDN"T SPILL ON IT!)

She offered me shoes. I said I had some. I was wrong. I stopped at Target on the way and bought some strappy sandals. With buckles.

The date for this wedding has been on my calendar for a year and a half. I did the art work, for Pete's sake. I sent the RSVP back the day it arrived.

I thought the wedding was at 5. I left early, stopped at Target for shoes and found the place in the Poconos quite easily. I parked the car and tried to put on my shoes. I am so fat and un-agile that I cannot buckle them. I can't even figure out how to move my legs. I decide to wait till I get inside the venue to put them on, but at some point I take them off and go barefoot.

The bridal party is outside taking pixs. I walk discreetly between the wall and the photo taking, trying to be as invisible as possible. I am carrying a present, and my shoes. Suddenly I hear a voice say "Gayle, go see mom". WTF?

It was the bride talking and her mom is coming towards me. She was totally unrecognizable with makeup and a pretty dress.  "Gayle, we are delighted you could come after all."

Huh?

Apparently I marked the "I can not attend box"

Idiot. Embarrassed idiot.

I assured her that was fine, I'd stay for the ceremony and leave. I don't want someone spending $80/head on me. But they wouldn't hear of it.

To top it off, I was really early. The wedding was at 5:30, not 5. And I arrived at 4:45. But it was okay, it took 10 minutes, but I finally managed to get the shoes buckled. After all that, they were comfy.

(BTW, I apologize for the ugly feet picture. I didn't realize how ugly they were until I took it. Should have gone for a Pedi at minimum.)