zumba=aerobics on steroids

When was the last time you went to an exercise class where there was more than 100 people in the gym?

Tonight I went to the Zumba class with Beth and her friend. There was more than 100 people in the class, ranging in age from six on up. Mostly young skinny minnies, but there was a few of us "real sized" women. Less than half brought reusable water bottles. (It's 2010. Haven't they gotten the memo?)

The instructor was energetic and fit. You could do an anatomy lesson on the muscles in her arms. I'm guessing her body fat was 15%, maybe.

So you literally dance your ass off.

Your feet are doing one thing, your hips another, and your arms a third thing. All together. You are also bending and twisting. It's aerobics on steroids. I was wiped at the end of the warm up and then she kicked it up a few notches.

The instructor uses hand signals to tell you whats coming next, and it took me a while, but I finally figured out that there is a lot of repetition in the movements during a song. Her finger twisting in a circle means turn around. She points toward her core and it means hold it your gut. Pointing up down, left, right, that type of thing.  When we did the butt dance hers went maybe 100 times in a minute. Oh and the happy face. She wants you to smile while you're torturing yourself.

I did maybe a quarter of what everyone else did, mostly incorrectly, and way slower. I was lost and confused most of the time. And sweating like crazy. If you can do it, it's quite the workout. Now I know why it's popular. Heck, even if you can't do it, it is.

But I won't be going back. It's really high impact, and my knees won't take it. I'm also not coordinated enough to do all the movements together. This fat girl is sticking to walking.

me, zumba?

Okay, things are getting out of control.

My friend, Beth, does Zumba. So does Maria, and Deana, and a bunch of other people I know. I never planned on trying it. I did aerobics in the 80s and it wasn't pretty. I have two left feet and no coordination whatsoever.

Beth sent me a text at lunchtime. "Zumba tonight? Palmer Comm Center 7 pm?"

My reply: "NO. Thats really fast at aerobics. I sux at aerobics." I was about to hit send when Pat says, I think you must go. Say what? Beth always goes walking with you at the crack of dawn.  Shit. So I type "PAT says I -must - go and try it. So c u there." SEND.

Her reply: "i think you should try it!!! Hey for $5 it's pretty good!" Yeah, right. Hoping I don't have a heart attack or break something.

"C U then"

Now she knows I'll back out so she sends me this final one: " Want me to wait in parking lot for ya I should be there abt 650."

So what is Zumba? I have no idea. I hear it has something to do with Latin dance.  I'm the one in the family with no rhythm. The web says it's a "fusion of Latin and International music that creates a dynamic, exciting, and effective fitness system."

I looked it up on the web and there are dozens of classes at all kinds of places within 10 miles of my house. I'm kind of shocked. I guess this is the new, hot fitness workout.

We'll I always say I'll try anything once. So here goes nothing.