f%!k the gps

Today was the Get Out Lehigh Valley walk at Hickory Run State Park. Earlier in the week I invited my international student to come along. She said yes. Today she canceled. I went alone.

Last night when I looked at Google Maps I chose the route from the college. Basically up 33, 115, 940 and you're pretty much there. When she cancelled, I delayed the trip a little too much leaving me only 15 minutes to get lost. I decided to use the turnpike. I set the GPS on the phone with the address 3613 Pa. Route 534. That's the park office address where we were meeting.

I made good time on the turnpike, and was on track to be early. It told me to take the exit for 903. This is a new exit and you need an easy pass to take it. Accidentally, I pulled into the service plaza. That confused the GPS all to hell. Then the nightmare began.

I returned to the turnpike and was about to get off the exit, when she told me to go straight to the 940 exit. Okay, that's fine. I should have listened to my gut and not the GPS bitch.

I get off the 940 exit, west, and I hear the lady say make a u-turn. WTF? Who in the world would make a u-turn back onto the turnpike. The large brown sign says that I should be turning right for the park. I'm about two miles down and GPS lady is having a hissy fit. Every few feet she is telling me to turnaround. I was 4 miles away. I finally decide that if isn't recalculating, then I will turn around, maybe the meeting place is accessible from the other direction. But I know heading east we reach Blakeslee and that's 115, not 534. I'm puzzled. I'm almost at Mosey Wood Road (I can walk to boulder field from the Girl Scout Camp) and the GPS wants me to turn around and go west again. I didn't see a turn.  I looked at the GPS. I was still 4 miles away.

I turn around and head west again. I'm almost at McDonalds and she tells me to turn right. I took the first right after McD's and ended up back on the turnpike. F this. I should go home. It's now 1:00. In 30 sections I'll be late. I'm about a mile down the road and the GPS says, "You have reached your destination. I WAS ON THE TURNPIKE. The address clearly said Route 534. The GPS lady is not only a bitch, she's also stupid.

I get off the 903 ext and she starts to talk again.  Thank goodness she isn't sending me back the turnpike. This trip was getting expensive. I would not have gone anyway. I decided to see where this took me. At the light I looked at the GPS again and I was 4.5 miles away. It's been ten minutes and I'm further away than when I started. This time the GPS took me into the park. At the Hickory Run State Park sign she told me I arrived. Again.

I still wan't at the park office. I wasn't even 100% sure I was on Rt. 534. At this point I gave up. I decided to stay on "534"until I reached 940 and just go home. I stopped in a lot but they weren't there. More wasted time. Half-way to 940 I saw the park office. It was 1:17 and they were gone. Unlike the Lehigh Valley group the Carbon group is punctual.I went thru all the effort to get there so I decided to go walk on my own. I wanted to be back by about 2:30 so I was there when they returned. I wanted my stamp.

I parked and walked for a half-hour in one direction on a paved trail, and returned. I did not want to wander the unfamiliar woods alone.

I saw a trolls house. Nobody was home.

There was patches of ice in the forest and on the road. I was near the glacial shelf. I passed an old chapel. It was quiet and pretty.

Another reason I didn't go into the woods was that I was afraid of seeing a bear. I got it in my head that it's been so warm I thought they might be awake.  I have noticed over the last three years I am becoming afraid of everything.

I was returning to the parking lot and trying to decide if I should follow a trial into the woods when I caught my foot in a depression and twisted my leg. Damn. My knee hurt. I was able to walk back to the car. I hobbled over to the park office and it wasn't open. It's only open during the week in winter. Odd, because my guess is people are in the park on weekends. All the times I've been at Hickory Run and I've never stamped my passport.

As I was limping toward the trail I saw the group returning and returned with them to the parking lot.

This trip/walk was a nightmare from start to finish. I should have stayed home and graded.

Miles/Steps:                  2.5 miles 

Weather:                       39 on the mountain, partly cloudy
Bathrooms:                   P-2.5. It was very close to being a 1.5

Wildlife:                        none seen or heard in the park.